THIN ICE IS NOT FOR FAT FISHERMEN

I went ice fishing today but, the ice was too thin,

A fat man vs. thin ice, guess which one will win,

I belly floated to the top,

Then, was rescued by the chop,  

And, was told not to do something so stupid again.

THE FISH OUT IN MY GARDEN

There was a fish out in my garden and he was eating on my beets,
Instead of eating all my vegetables you'd think he'd eat the wormy treats,
And, my tomatoes on the vine,
He slurped them down and said, "Divine,"
Today, I seen the fish out in my garden and his veggie appetite repeats.

THE FISH FRIES AND MOSQUITOES LIMERICK

Fishing failed to yield fish for fish fries,
But, mosquitoes gave me a surprise,
I cannot suppose,
How they got under my cloths,
Now, all the itching will be my demise.

THE BIG BUCK THAT STOLE MY TRUCK

I went hunting for a big buck,
But, it seems that I didn't have good luck,
For, the buck snuck up behind me,
Pick-pocketed my only key,
Then, drove off in my new pickup truck.  

THE FISH WHO KNEW TOO MUCH

There once was a fish who liked to read,
That got him to dream of where the skyline might lead,
So, he grabbed a fisherman's hook, 
And, thus he was took,
To a restaurant where he was served with dill weed.  

SALMON FISHING IN A LEAKING BOAT

The salmon swam under my boat, 
But, I was having trouble staying afloat,
I so, wanted to fish,
But, My priority wish,
Was plugging the hole in the bottom with my coat.